STATUSes

chat.shoot the breeze
relationship.Mr. Perfect!
busy.Busy
friends.leisure & nightlife
date.Sex and more
away.not at PC
nothing.surprise me
sex.now or later
invisible.when online

STATUSes

Most of the times these are the ones that you usually see in PlanetRomeo or Downelink or Manjam. Odd how diverse they became and how they puckered from the usual cliché-Married/Single status we have before. We may have educed, yes, but up to what extent? We are supposed to be gearing forward, we have reached and transitioned to the 21st century with ease and snap but still the diversity and complexity is somewhat not genuine and specific .

Personally, I don't have qualms over such but if you declare otherwise, that should be what it should be. Not the other way around. I know some. I know some....one. Confused much with this gender-biased toxicity? Dig in.

Chat. So you're here for a tete-a-tete? Nothing to do in a days time? Yeah it figures for bum and lazybones. Get a life! We have 24hrs in a day, mine is so limited I want it to be friggin' 36.

Relationship. This I belong. I know for a fact that I am a cougar hunting for prey, I am a hopeless romantic for chrissakes! I want my happily-ever-after, blame Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, they disseminated the flyers! I know right?

Busy. As the status insists.

Friends. Fucking friends? This I got to agree. Well, everything needs to start from scratch right? You meet and greet, decides to go out sometime, then party all night and if you hit the spot, end up in bed otherwise but if not stays platonic and gets to be the bff- as in forever, convenient for some but others dwell on the what-if's and the maybe's, hey, everybody is entitled to dream right?. That's a long time procedure getting laid but it works for others that are shy type and pedantic, not me!

Date. Here you get to relish both the company, dinner and the boy itself, what else. Romanticism I guess. The gallantry and the aristocracy all rolled into one. This is for the prim and the proper. The Alta sociedad as they say. And as all night would end- in bed getting a head or alone jacking off remembering how sumptuous your date was. What? No release? You'll keep it in? Oh come on!

Away. Obviously.

Nothing. This I find it odd. But I guess this is to avoid complacency and being spontaneous. Adventurous I may add- BDSM, bareback, piss, spanking, orgies or sex in the air. Urgh! Don't get me wrong, I'll stick with briefs and boxers as fetish. Thanks but no thanks.

Sex. Do we need to linger and state the obvious? Top or Bottom. Anal or Oral. You decide.

Invisible. Aaaah. This applies to discreet, in demand and wanted profiles. Too sexy, too gorgeous, too big of a tool and everything TOO MUCH it can't be contained. Hahaha.

Obsession

Obsession

falling in love with LOVE of SIAM

Gan lae gan (OST) - English version

If I said that this song is made for you, would you believe it?
It’s probably not melodious, not affectionate, not beautiful like other songs.
I want you to know that if there’s no love, you can’t write a love song.
But for you, my dear, do you know? I wrote it easily.

You’ve probably heard hundreds and thousands of love songs
that’s probably impressive
but with a similar meaning altogether, but if you listen to this song,
a song that’s written simply for you.
For you to understand the meaning of it, our hearts will then have a connection.

Let it be a song on our pathways that consist only voices of you and me.
Together as long as possible.
As the meaning is told in a poetry that as long as there’s love naturally there’s hope.
Means whenever your love shines through the heart, I have a goal.

There is a lot of facts found in love,
and in the past I used the time for the sake of finding the meaning.
But soon, I’d just know it, whenever you are near me,
That if life’s a rhythm, you are as good as the words that is melodious and touching to the heart.

Let it be a song on our pathways that consist only voices of you and me.
Together as long as possible.
As the meaning is told in a poetry that as long as there’s love naturally there’s hope.
Means whenever your love shines through the heart, I have a goal.

There’s a pathway for us to walk side by side and there are voices of you and me.
There’s a pathway for us to walk side by side and there are voices of you and me.

Ang PEDANTIC at ang WILD

We partied together.
We boozed up, downed a couple cases. Laughed till we dropped and danced the night away, kissed and made love like its 2012! I am the wild side of the card. We do extreme things together. Decide on ostentatious matters, nada thinking of repercussions. I am the wild side of the equation.


The story goes this way:
Late afternoon then, with nothing to do. I fixated a plan that will free us both from deception and bondage. Me thinking wildly, suggested a very friendly tempt with the social lubricant, this is his chaos. Once he pops he doesn't stop. He becomes a butterfly, vibrant, wild and all out. My way of thinking still. A bottle down, nibbles here, there- then became three and four, loosening up a notch, restrictions gone, inhibitions out. We even held hands in front of everybody else. Crazy right? It was. Very crazy indeed.


His bejeweled embraced him.
Asked if he could stop drinking, had much and need to tone down. He is the pedantic side of the card. He hushed him, cuddled him and whispered sweet nothings to him. He is the pedantic side of the equation.


Seeing them together last night, made me realize. Where do I stand? Do I even have a stand to start things with? Funny how I still remember his words. Then, they were genuine and untarnished, now, just rhetoric and palaver! I fell for those words and same as a deadend- no worth in turning back there's no way out. I can dug myself out but it would take a lifetime. 


Torn in torment. Confused and fucked up. To fight or let go. What's next?

epitome

would fate play with you if you haven't allowed it to be in the courtyard?


Bugged and confused. 
How is it possible? You got stringed along. How can you be the antagonist? Would that be the mere fact that you let yourself be winded up? I am no conventionalist and I seldom care what others will say but the fact that my heart argues with my mind, something is off and really wrong in there. 


Destiny others will say, yet is it just that? Will you rely all your eternity to the so-called destiny and fate? Why do we even believe on such bedtime story? Yes a bedtime story. For me everything is given a chance by chance. You have to work things out with that given chance to make it work or worst come to worst-break it. Figuratively, its your temporal lobe that will decide which path to take and pursue. 


Chance- now thats a more feasible granule, compared to fate and destiny. Serendipitous? Well you can say that. Occurence and chances are a bit related and people tends to relate it with destiny after awhile, concluding several notions, assuming and then going with what they have pictured. Then viola- a fairytale! 


Cohesive right? Most of us does that in the hopes of having a happy-ever-after. Wrong! They don't come to reality most of the times! 


Being HAPPY. Isn't that what we should aim for? I know I am trampling over someone else's life. But you won't get to the top without stepping and bumping into others. The sheer fact that you bluster out of your comfort zone, some will get affected one way or the other. I am not redeeming myself from being wrong to righteous. I am just conjugating that every action has its alter ego- be it a good intent or a devilish malign.


In spite of all that hocus-pocus it would still boil down how you feel and your heart desires. Right now I will choose to be happy- it may be a wrong decision or it may be a right one. Who cares? 


I want to be happy. 

si buhay ko: komplikado

masaya ako sa tabi mo. lahat ng pagod at puyat wala sa piling mo. 
ngiti at halakhak mo, korni man sa pandinig minsan, musika naman sa puso at damdamin ko.
tanging hiling ko lang. na di ka magbago. ganito. simple. masaya. 

alam ko hirap ka. sa sitwasyon nating dalawa. ako man din walang magawa.
gusto kong ibuhos buong pagkatao ko. lahat ng pagmamahal na kaya ko, iaalay ko.
para sa'yo at sa magiging tayo. 


nabuhos man ng DIYOS lahat ng kamalasan sa relasyon na ito.
igagawa ko ng paraan, gamit ang gusto NIYA at sa paraan NIYA.
simple lang naman talaga ang nais ko. ikaw at ako. magkasama.
nagmamahalan ng walang halong lokohan at disgrasya.


komplikado pero masaya.
sa ganun yata talaga. di naman sa tayo ay nakiuso.
magulo na nakakatuwa.
ni wala nga sa hinagap ko. pangarapin pa kaya? 


mali. alam ko. at alam mo. gusto ko mang itama. nang dahil sa gusto mo. maturuan pa kayang makalimut ang pusong di naman talaga dapat na nagmahal ng todo? ilalaban ko  kung ano meron tayo. sana mapanindigan mo din ang salitang binitiwan mo.


mahal mo ako gaya ng nabibigay mo sa asawa mo.

city hall

parang bula
ganun ganun nalang
parang kabute
uusbong nalang bigla


funny how that qoute can excruciate what happened. if there is a whirlwind romance, I think this will be categorized as whirlwind fuck. it came and went by and then faded just like that. cold hard fact, the heat died down and the randy perished. as there were no feelings involved in the first place, the pragmatic thing to do is to let go.


feelings hurt, ego bruised and relationship marred, well what do you expect? matters of the heart are not to be trampled, played and manipulated. 


the issue now is what to do next? you can't drink a spilled milk no more, you can't even see a clear picture on a broken mirror. cliche to say "MOVE ON" or "FORGIVE and FORGET". duh! this is not a fairytale that all is well when it ends well. a crap and a bull! 


would I get even? good half of me says, "your choice to forgive and not to forget" but the bitch side of me wants to gang up and be drenched in blood! how morbid and apodictic right? 


sadly all good things comes to an end, the bus was just early on my part. should i be bitter? yell all hell and fuck up? i can do that definitely but i chose not to. i remember my friend again, a pessimistic beyotch "you are where you came from". me, the opposing optimist, battled "that's what you think! i guess not all and some are left still", boy did I eat my words in MEDIUM RARE. 


HONEST and TRUE- building blocks of a lasting and sanguine relationship, the only main form of how you should live your life too. i am no pharisaic but i will show you who i am-no pretentions, nothing ostentatious and grandiloquent, either deal with it or bear with it.  that's me!


wala nang matino
wala nang mas titino pa
lahat na lokohan
lahat na gaguhan