happiness

a cliche? a word of mouth or an overrated remark?

hard to tell.
I am bitter, wallowing and in a sour mood to eat what that word means.
hoax if you ask me right now.
just a state of mind, that's it!
nothing more, nothing less.

things are not quite like before.
air a bit heavy, smiles are just on the face not reaching the heart and mind.
burdened? yes!
bothered? yes!
insecured? yes!
I guess all of the questions are answerable by yes these days!
categorically? yes!

digital!
they say everything already is!
camera prints, mails, internet connections even nails.
add karma and a pinch of hocus-pocus, viola! Voodoo!
instant!
digital!
that and everything else is all I want. karma!
I want it now. I want it good!

when can I reach the zenith?
finality!
relationship one after the other!
fling over another fling!
one-night-stand after another!
nada!
futile!
not even a nanosecond helped!
hopeless!

now I grieve.
now I cry.

hoping tomorrow brings another dew!
to fill my cup with an overflow!