kaput

I never want it to happen.
Is that a test of faith? The will to fight?
Close to my heart, you are my family and became my kin.
Pure lust perhaps? Carnal urge? Or just a need? 
I fought real hard but the battlecry wasn't mine to wail.
Was my voice not suffice? Or got mimed because of desire?
It's shattering, heart wrenching and mind boggling.
Why of all people it was me? Of all places, there?



I can't look into your eyes no more without the questions I want filled.
I can't agree to you face to face anymore.
I can't compete with you without catechize surfacing.
I can't inveigle nor palaver to you.
I can't laugh to those crazy antics you caper.






I am not destroying a friendship that's built to last.
Isn't the bond enough? Does happiness not matter anymore?
People around us will get hurt.
Can we elude the fact of ruining a china? 
I will shut up and drive.
Can you tolerate? What about your love?
Then try to forget but never forgive.
Or have you forgotten? 


Trust. Kaput

Love. Kaput 

the Bar Silver

laid back flat on the floor. then passed out.
I woke. he was holding my hand. and am out.
head spinning. got up. sat down. then out again.
opened my eyes. him clasping my hand. till passing out.


I blinked. my lips were in his. then passed out.
sensation swathing me. him on top caressing. and am out.
endearments. here and there. lips-locked. then out again.
passionate buss. fiery kiss. hands all over. till passing out.


I was on my knees. stroking his emblem. then out again.
fondled his. it slowly hardened. and am out.
mine sated his mouth. moaning. then out again.
his filled my orifice. pleasures all over. till passing out.


he groped. I moaned. lust filling the air. then out again.
I suckled. he soughed. pruriency followed. and am out.
my lips hungered for his. savored him. then out again.
impressed him all over. esthesis burning. till passing out.


blur.
tears rolled down.
conscience thundering.
questions unanswered.