breakaway

The stupor is already wearing off.
Exhaustion is lurking though my veins.
It’s affecting my entirety.
I’m restless and ecstatic without adieu

I want to break free but something is keeping me.
As every passing day goes
I’m washed away, farther away.
Taming the waves is not going to endure the whirl.

I am whole
Yet the gap and the blow makes it difficult to summon tranquility
My state of mind falters and capturing the balance is impossible
What’s happening, I ask but the thought just bursts into thin air.

Limbo as it is, 
never thought that it would be like this.
Choked and breathless.
Can’t summon a grasp piercing thru myself,
Gasping for air.

Struggling to find myself.
All effort exhumed but I’m getting nowhere.
Tired but the need to go on still consumes me.
How?

My mind is in circles,
In quest of answers, trying to fathom, reaching but unable to clutch.
Exuberantly judged and detrimented.
I have taken suggestions yet the blunder and the mischief is still at bay.

I am already screaming but all I hear is a screech.
Trying to wheel in what squandered my being.
being drowned with my own words, squelching…..

Aaaagghhhhhh!

And then I woke up. Whew! What a dream!

pano ba simulan ang mahabang kwento kasama ang taong ito…….?

*(i’ve written this potpourri in the vernacular, just for fun and laughter, mind you it’s my very first attempt, am just not sure if it’s successful or not, it’s stressful…gathering thoughts has never been this excruciatingly painful….but the feeling is surreal, loved it!

this is an odyssey of love and friendship floretted but was never refined…sad but true yet an interesting gambit to have sophisticated)*

pano ba simulan ang mahabang kwento kasama ang taong ito…….?

ipis man kung tutuusin
malabong mahagilap sa paningin
ilusyon mo’y isang panaginip
na sa pag gising ay di mawari sa pag-iisip

ako’y gamu-gamong nangarap ng isang katulad mo
pero alam ko sa salita at sa puso
di tiyak sa aking pagdaraop
at sa mga dalangin abot langit ang sakop

minsan naisip ko kung ukol pa ba
hawiin ang ulap makasama ka
pero ako’y duda sa mukha ng pag-asa
malinlang at magdusa kapag wala ka na

sa bawat ulan at luha
may luksang tangan ang iyong mga mata
bukas palad akong mag-aantay
sa pag-asang may darating na sikat pagkatapos ng amba

friend, ako’y andito lang…..
hoping, mayroon…..
till, lahat wala na…..
end, lang naman ang hudyat…..

moving on

can’t really seem to fathom
what became and what will be
all i know as for i have grown
bitterness still envelopes me

maybe it will take time
or not so as i think
it bade adiue like a dime
even as i jot all thoughts with an ink

crying would be an option
for a wolf who spilled milk gratuitously
sallowing is also damnation
as it purports not me obviously

aplomb as i wanna be
this love has been maimed by a taunt
condoned by the fact merely
as it is not me to gloat

ergo, i should let go!
countless and endless squalling won’t archaic
all these love voodoo
giving credence would be my only arctic

au revoir