YOU

I have never thought "YOU" would be such a STRONG word against any living thing. Politically soft if you'll ask me but if used on a template without any further basis, ain't legal for that matter. On what conclusion was it decided from? Personal? I doubt that!


I am bursting with anger right now! In flames! I know its petty but to rephrase a template would be a much proper ordeal rather than repeating it over and over again. DOESN'T MAKE SENSE at all!


We ain't given a head just for it to sit right over your shoulders, it was rightfully placed there for your usage and demeanor! I want to shout but it ain't gonna resolve conflicts, believe me it won't! But am not gonna sit there and relax. This will serve as a clangor to my defiance and voice to air what suffocates me!


NGA MAMIRISTI!

meet Woody

Vettri has served me well my whole 2010. 

Kept me updated, focused and on time, well most of my appointments anyways. Tracked all of me, literally, the;

• unending and nerve-wracking expenses
• itineraries
• monthly bills
• addresses
• contacts
• birthdays of friends, relatives and foes - I know they're a must-have nowadays
• bible verses - I, a Christian needs my daily bread to keep me going
• quotes - that knocks me of my feet every once in a while
• passwords - of EVERYTHING! What can I do, I have a limited retaining power!
• even dates to name a few and crushes and sexual innuendos as well - that's inevitable!
• party schedules and venues -  especially those "wasted" times 
• heartaches - me, a certified prone-accident 
• Paluwagan - yes the moolah!
• must have's, make-up's, thingamajig's, gizmo's and gadgets
• dreams and aspirations -  these are to die for, believe me! 
• fave restos - I LOOOOVE eating
• Fashion shows and trends - Katigbak's Rogador's, Ibanez's, Peralta's, Arnaldo's, Herrera's, Floresca's and Eustaquio's them lines are so defiant and fabulous, you'll never go wrong. Galang, Paras, Yulo,  Castro, Capuchino, Lasala, Losa, Pineda, Tesoro and Reyes designs are radical and head-turner, whew! I can only imagine!
• "disposable" friends - of course, in this lifetime they never go out-of-style
• overtime at work - I work for moolah, live for moolah and party for moolah.

I mean everything, name it and Vettri was there, have it and provides it. My whole life depended on every pages he had but as all good things must come to an end so as 2010 would. Saying goodbye is such a bittersweet but the only way for me to go is forward. Savored the whole of 2010 with a bang together with Vettri. I maybe overly sentimental about the letting go but chances are he will be archived, remembered and treasured.

Thanks to a mentor and a dear friend, came Woody my 2011 soon-to-be buddy. Pages are still crisp and  fresh from print. I am so loving the dark hue but I first fell in love with Metal, big deal! Then I saw Woody's texture, man, that was some finishing! I loved it in an instant! 

Well my 2011 is about to start in a few jiffy and hopefully it will be a blast the same way it sky-rocketed 2010 for me. It has been a journey! I really can't complain and I won't. I've had my up's and dealt with the down's and looking back to them made me realize more than ever, 

I BECAME A BETTER PERSON

Enjoy 2011!!!

                             

RESTRICTED

At what point do you consider RESTRICTED in a certain relationship?


Is it the point where you can't make your own decision already or at the point where you stop growing as an individual? Does a petty "where you at" or a simple "have you eaten" maybe a nudging "who are you with" can that be considered as restrictions? For me it ain't!


BUT WHY?


I am in a relationship right now. Confused and bugged. I don't want to make mistakes. Don't encourage me with "have room for errors". I have suffered enough for this relationship to work. I want to make things smooth and perfect. Trial and error method is not feasible this moment in time.


BUT HOW?


I want to scream and shout. Time and again that all my past relationship are a blunder and failures. I want to make this relationship work and grow and prosper yet right now I am not sure if my methods are correct and superb and will make a fine tune for this partnership to spoke off. Is there something that I need to know?


BUT WHAT?


I am no perfectionist but I am a certified obsessive-compulsive bitch. Sorry and please excuse my French, not a saint here. I want to lessen, minimize and even eradicate all loopholes. Safe-protect that's my word not baby-proof my relationship but I don't know how and where to start. I am helpless. I am in turmoil and I know its impossible. Still I can try right. No harm over it. Or I 
could die trying.


Is there a book or a self-help for PERFECTING a RELATIONSHIP?

Tahimik

di na ako magtatanong
kung saan ka at sino ang kasama
kumain ka na ba o okay ka 
ayokong makasakal kaya tatahimik na


sana magawa ko ang lahat para sa'yo
masakyan ang gusto
masunod ang luho
mabigay ang nais mo


di man ikaw ang makita ko
marinig man lang ang boses mo
pipiliting wag mapaghanap
kalayaan mo ang tanging sikap


sana lang sa lahat ng ito
maalala mo ako
nasa likod mo
sa bawat pangarap na ibig mo

tanong

Gusto ko pa bang umiyak
Gusto ko pa bang magpakatanga
Gusto ko pa bang sumaya
Gusto ko pa bang maging kawawa


Mga tanong na pilit iwinawaglit pero kusang sasagi
Iwasan mo mang saglit ikaw pa din ang magagapi
Ayoko na
Tama na
Di ko na kaya
Pero bakit sa tuwina puso ko'y ikaw ang dikta


Kelan titigil ito
Kelan magkakaisip
Kelan magsasawa
Kelan mapapagod


Ang sagot ay di ko alam
Pilitin ko mang baguhin
Ito'y ukit na 
Nakamarka
Di na mababago pa
Ilaban ko man ito sarili ko pa ang kokontra


Bakit ngayon
Bakit ikaw
Bakit ako
Bakit ganito


Sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana
Pero sino ako sa mundong ito
Para pangunahan ang naisulat na
Kundi ang sumunod ng walang pagliko
Na tanggapin ang lahat 
Ayon sa dapat

Ok Lang Ako

By Parokya Ni Edgar Lyrics 

Sung by Regine Velasquez

AYoko ng malaman pa
Kung sino sya at kung saan ka nagpunta
Hinde na lamang tatanungin
Para hinde mo na kailangan pang umamin
OK lang ako
OK lang ako


Lahat ay aking gagawin
Pikit matang tatanggapin
Mas kayang masaktan paminsan minsan.
wag ka lamang mawala ng tuluyan


Maniniwala na lang ako
Sa lahat ng sasabihin mo
DI na kita kukulitin
Para din a kailangan pang magsinungaling
OK lang ako
OK lang ako




Lahat ay aking gagawin
Pikit matang tatanggapin
Mas kayang masaktan paminsan minsan
Wag ka lamang mawala ng tuluyan


Hinde ko kakayanin mawala ka sa akin
Kahit na magmukha akong tanga
Sa mata ng iba
Lahat ay aking gagawin
Pikit matang tatanggapin
Kung merong magtanong tungkol sa akin
Sabihin mo, ok lang ako
OK lang ako

http://www.hiplyrics.com/lyrics/ok-lang-ako-by-parokya-ni-edgar-lyrics.html

S T O P

Typical greetings that you get from a provincial settings is not a good morning or even how do you do?



I am GAY.


The place that I came from? The only category of people they know are two; a man and a woman, no in betweens and even sideways. Hurtful, damaging and sometimes detrimental. Here are few:

Faggot

                            Salot                                                    Bayot

Bading

                         Abnormal                                               Gaba

What a tantamount to start your early morning chores, right?

Growing up has been the most torturous and brutal of them all, even your 

family mitigated you for being such! A crime they considered most 

heinous and unforgivable. It brandished me as an outcast no one to turn 

to and no one to blame either. My only goal then was to free myself from 

that place and be out of that forsaken piece of earth. If my heart would 

be visible by now, it would be marked by such hateful surroundings and 

negatively-taught people.

Taunted and ridiculed! Some came from my teachers and some from
neighbors. If your voice came from pitchful C note, they converse in
language unimaginable and banish you from their sight. Once you
arabesque your fingers at a ballerina phase they shut you out just like
that!


A very small way of BULLYING but highly affects the persona in you. I
may have come to terms to it today but in a split second as I close my
eyes and think back? I re-live all those memories, etched and embossed
from my very core. Who hasn't been bullied and I guess the most ones
are, is US – third sex, human being, breathing in flesh and blood
sitting right beside you and you still don't know it! Funny how people
say things as WE ACCEPT YOU but then again it slips from them the pity,
the ridicule and the shame they feel for you.

We ain't dirty! We ain't impoverished and most of all we ain't sorry for
who we are!
                                                

I am a proud GAY man. I can shout it to the world. I belong to a very
different and unique genre of society that “normal” people keeps on
deciphering because they can't. We are unpredictable yet beautiful. We
are antithetic but talented. We are who we are and not ashamed of what
we are. And we are here to stay!


Definitely for good!


I wish the bullying stops from here. A breeding doesn't come from a
certain individual it is taught from birth, to adolescence and then to
maturity. I believe our family has half of what we are. Teachings and
provisions came from them. Deny all you want but getting accepted should
come from where your roots are.


The education on how bullying is stopped should come from our families.
Help us build a nation of people with moral grace and understanding and
love for one another. It ain't hard. 

When will this STOP? Just start from your family.  NOW.