Lost: wandering soul unattended

Do I really need a soul searching medley? In what tune would I dance the night away?

I haven’t been the same since I joined the haystack of the banal, sinner and the judged. Right now being here at this crossroad, I never seem to reach a conclusion, is it just me or I tend to stay away from what I am. I am tired but is it just my way of thinking that makes me nerve-wrecked every single time?

My work is doing the finest it can ever be, in fact I excel, in most prominent ways I can, redeeming myself has never been this good, the fact that I am helping, I am also learning. Was this am supposed to do and be? Career-wise am on track, I can manage. I can devour what I want. Tricks I can manage, control and plan for, as they are tangible and has fixed outcomes, if they go haywire there are a lot of back ups you can grab and alleviate the missing parts.

Physically am withstanding but I haven’t had the time to be checked by professionals yet I want to. A need to tone and maintain is all I need. I can’t complain of the physical assets dear Lord has bestowed upon me, thankful that I am what I am. There are flaws here and there, they can’t be just non-sense as they partake half of me being human. As Tyra Banks always says, not all of your feature is perfect but it’s your job to conceal it make them believe you are. Dealing with the criticism I have come to be on track. Maybe some clear and daunted marks here and there but they are tacky-toast only, they’ll go at some point in time. Bear with it or deal with it, it’s me, other people can’t change it, so am I. So why not love it. Leave or stay. That’s me. And will stand by that.


Oh enough about me!

Ego anyone?

Ego / July 16, 2009

I so love BK’s song. In more ways than one, I can pretty much relate to it. Simple yet direct. Defiant yet true. Stylish yet knocks you off your feet.

I talk like this ’cause I can back it up
I walk like this ’cause I can back it up
I got every reason to feel like I’m that bitch

True, some might think it’s arrogance but simply it’s just confidence.   Some say that if you have it you got it but I dare to defy, given time? I don’t think so! You’ll learn the ways of the samurai. At first, hesitations and convictions will subdue and flare but give it 21 days tops. It will be instilled. Dare? Not all talent are purely bred, some yes with heritage and ancestry but some are taught and learnt. Gifts for some but labored by others. For me perseverance is the key. Whatever it is, you just got to work hard, I mean real hard, mind you inborn talents are hastened for a brilliance coz although you have it, you need to oil up your hinge and work that ass out. I for one can attest to that. Dancing is my life and my passion, not only it needs to be a daily routine, as your body adjusts to every movement that you make, to every muscle you crunch, every sway that you pleia and every bounce you do to the beat, you also need to try other genre aside from the one that you know, versatility also counts. Says who? moi, of course! I talk like this coz I can back it up!

Literally, not only ramp models and beauty queens can do this. In your simple kind of style, if you got it then bring it. I personally believe it’s not the dress, the fad or the design that will make up and constitute an ensemble. Not even designer labels and brands will make you pretty and channel an oozingly hot strut. It’s how you handle and rock the outfit. You could be stylish in a plain white shirt and faded jeans if you know how to accessorize and crown yourself with glory, quite the contrary if you don’t, you’ll end up trashy and gross even if you have Gucci shirt and Armani jeans. If you know what I mean. You can strut a dress made in Ilaya Divisoria and bejewel it with sparkles from 168 Mall, the hell I care, just rock it if you’re under the spotlight. Says who? It’s bad to stare; I walk like this ’cause I can back it up!

I got every reason to feel like I’m that bitch. Sure you can be with all the people around you, if you’ll ask me, am not here standing where am at, if am pleasing everybody else, you know you can’t! You do your own stuff, you do your thing and all else will follow. It may not be the norm or the preference but you followed your heart’s desire, that’s what matters most. It’s you being taken into pride. Who would you trust other than yourself, you know who you are, what you want and when you need it. Let’s face it the world will never be alive without the facade and all that but it will always boil down to what you think and feel. Things may get haywired and plans get screwed but at the end of the day, you’ll get to ask yourself the worth of it all. If it is, then why bother! Aside for the spontaneity of it, you also get to flame the phoenix in you.

Though the peak is the sweetest triumph of it all, it’s always the climb that you will savor and linger.