through the rain

Now he's gone and all I can think of are the memories!


After all the rumblings of the waged war. You came to me and asked for help.
No questions asked. I was a friend first and foremost then became a lover and up till the very end stayed in love with you.


I came to the rescue- As you have planned and intended it to be.


You said "I will destroy myself to show the world the innocence I have".
I stopped you.
I concocted all possible evasion and schemes just to divert all your negativities
I even perilled myself to let you know I was there and never letting go.


You have already decided and said "People have been so cruel to you and the time has come for them to know the malign they set on you!"
I drenched myself in tears.
I begged for you to stop.
Alas! You were unstoppable!


Was that still a part of your plan?


I am a midnight owl. A social butterfly by heart. 
If a life's gonna be wasted in attempt. Why not celebrate it with a bang!
No use in stopping a flow if there's not even a leak right?
So we danced and drowned the night away. Hoping that it will change everything.


And it did! This time I am not sure if you have still planned it!


What was that all about? You let me hang on to nothingness and pure fallacy. Fantasy even. 
Yet I guess you're happy now. You made life easy for you and miserable for me.
This is temporary. As inundated with failure as I am. I can and I will make it through the rain.
I hope you find your match- karma comes around, goes around.


ciao!

The moving on

You'll see remnants.
Bits and pieces.
Shadows.
Blur.

Want as you don't but it's there, lingering. Sometimes roughshod and hurtful but that's what remains after a sad ol' breakup. Even cry for a picayune song played over the radio. And you will realize the futile what-if's and maybe's that you should have done and had done but never came apodictic.

You want to get even.
You wish everything swingeing to happen.
You'll curse the day he was born.
And even stalk and pall the hell out of him.
But reality will bite and you will still CARE.

Had he seen your worth while the embraces were tepid? Did he even care while the moans were tender? What was his thoughts when the kiss was perfect?
Three questions out of the millions you draft are not even answerable by YES or a NO and the only thing that you can do is whisper it to the air hoping and praying that it will reach his ears and hear what he has to say.

Most of the times, you only want to hear what you want to hear. You select what you want to see. And you'll see yourself virulent and hurtful. So condescending but that's what happens, do correct me as I am still on that phase and stage.