Inner thoughts

Why do you get so feigned?


Even just the sight of his name will bring you untune and tears. Memories will dawdle by like a movie trailer. An esoteric sigh and a boxful of tissue will be the only comfort that you will have. Your heart will start to blame your mind and the mind will do the same. All thoughts deep-seated from the core will emerge and by the time you notice it, teardrops gently falls on your cheeks and another deep sigh will have you bristle into a different kind of laugh, sour, bitter and hurt!

You close your eyes and shoo the thoughts away but they just get so vivid and true-like that you can't push it away no more. You start to think of all happy endings but the bad and sad ones clouds them all away. Then you stare at nowhere hoping for recluse and then reality scours you and nudges you that it's just a dream. Nothing more and nothing less.


I hope this is just a phase that your heart and mind would think of him. Etched in memory and engraved in dreams, how will it be so easy when what you had divvy up were as fresh as you can grasp them right there and then. Fuck all the moments such as this. Wish you never had them all in all. They grip. They torture. They molest! They excruciate! 


Inner thoughts.

Fellatio

Let's talk about blowjob!


What? This ain't taboo no more! Straight or not! Everybody does it! And for the love of Backlum Chaam and Bastet, it's pleasure were talking here, not religion and polictics! And as far as I know, they don't mix well!


How to do it versus the normal oral care we do daily.


Plainly BJ defined is oral sex performed upon the penis. Simple and easy but the tricks of the trade has already been marginalized and developed to induce male orgasm and used as foreplay as well. Man does not live by bread alone, believe me, there are some stroking too every once in a while! That's what I heard!


The real deal is how to do it?


http://www.howtodothings.com/family-relationships/how-to-give-a-blow-job
I saw that site one time my naughty mind gets so Dora on me! Insightful? Yes! Not to mention funny and outrageous but came to realize that it does wonders. From the do's and the dont's to tips and suggestions. Doesn't kill to know right? At least you were forwarned and the next time you get in between those thighs, Oops. Excuse my French! Sorry, in between situations I mean, you know what to do and what to expect.


Dr. Margarita Holmes @ www.margaritaholmes.com can offer a lot of information about the TOPIC, nowadays I really don't care if this is a matter of taboo or a social ridicule or a laughing stock but I think its time to educate. That's the building block from ignorance. Learn!


See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fellatio for more information but wait there's more a bonus to the side is a video and some references you can delve into. 

The moving on

You'll see remnants.
Bits and pieces.
Shadows.
Blur.

Want as you don't but it's there, lingering. Sometimes roughshod and hurtful but that's what remains after a sad ol' breakup. Even cry for a picayune song played over the radio. And you will realize the futile what-if's and maybe's that you should have done and had done but never came apodictic.

You want to get even.
You wish everything swingeing to happen.
You'll curse the day he was born.
And even stalk and pall the hell out of him.
But reality will bite and you will still CARE.

Had he seen your worth while the embraces were tepid? Did he even care while the moans were tender? What was his thoughts when the kiss was perfect?
Three questions out of the millions you draft are not even answerable by YES or a NO and the only thing that you can do is whisper it to the air hoping and praying that it will reach his ears and hear what he has to say.

Most of the times, you only want to hear what you want to hear. You select what you want to see. And you'll see yourself virulent and hurtful. So condescending but that's what happens, do correct me as I am still on that phase and stage.

spinning round and round

I haven't been able to blog for months now. HIATUS again! 

I really can't tell if it has something to do with me loosening up a notch with my best buddies or the lifestyle change or the mere reason that being online and updated thru the web takes most of my time out.

I have been lazy as well at home, laundry on top of each other. Building a mound week per week. What has come to my senses, I let slip of my disorder months ago, hoping there would be a change in me, and it did change me, for the worse. I can't force myself anymore. I like myself now but it scares me a bit. It has grown wild and stopping means turmoil.

How I wanna go back of the old days where I get home, get things in order, sleep, wake up and set things in order again and then go to work, set things in order then go home to set things in order again. 

I miss that! 

Now what ever rocks my boat, spins here there and everywhere. Should I be angry to myself for the grit that I have grown into? Should I let the spinster snooze and awaken the timid me? How silly of me to think things will settle on their own. To each of his own settlement and be where they are before. Alas! They have never changed!

Am I driving my life to extinction?  

Ur in denial

Bitch as I am, it cracked me up way beyond I can uber imagine! Childish it may seem but I will post this! 
Thus the reason why I highly suggest breaking up with someone, PERSONALLY! Technology has been highly overrated and a no-no for your self-esteem!


Jejemon or Barok? Not able to distinguish either! Enjoy!  


anyway wag na tau maglokohan db?Auko na!! I dnt love u anymore coz ur not deserving to me, face d reality ryt? im realize im in love with d wrong guy... And d wrong time... But im hapi to met a person like u.. But sometimes we nid to think deeply if willing to love each other b4 built a relationship... But i guess? Ur in denial... Coz kahit sobrang busy, stress at pgod there's a many way to txt me.. Remember im globe, and ur globe too... Nka line ka pa nga db? I think if u like or love a person u nid to give ur best to prove hw much i love each other, pero prang ako lng un gumagawa nun,.. Im so tired... To loving u.. I hope u understand... Godbless.. Be safe... See u d next life! 


Comment away!

Tatay

this is a preeminence of my kin, Donna, to our father written as a eulogy on his birthday. Originally posted on Facebook



I guess you could say that my father was, for all intents and purposes, the King of Mistakes and Shortcomings. I never knew where he was the day I was born, was he beside my mother, was he outside smoking stick after sticks of month-old cigarettes found by accident inside one pocket of a trouser carelessly put on in the midst of frantic haste for my fast approaching arrival into the world. Or was he elsewhere, at work, in the arms of a different woman, at a friend's house completely wasted having after having consumed a proud ten bottles of rhum. He was mean, and violent, and warm, and sweet, and mysterious, and funny and solemn, and scary and quiet. Very quiet. He never said much. Except when he was drunk, which was most of the time. He talked, sometimes barked but mostly, he yelled at my brother, at me, at my mother, at the neighbors, at life. But no, he never said much.


He's dead now. From a combination of illnesses that didn't compliment each other, one being a complication of the other, the other being the cause of another. I read that piece of paper, that shabby, cheap sheet of paper that said what he died of from, that my mother broke her heart for another hundredth time when another woman also tried to get his death certificate. It was a jargon, the diagnosis, words that may sound so fatal and serious to ignorant ears, such as my mother's and my brother's. It shamed me, even as I was explaining to them that that man died from an otherwise preventable illnesses had he known what to do, had he not abandoned a family that would have accompanied him to monthly check-ups, had his daughter not hated him and stopped acknowledging his existence, when this daughter was a nurse.


True, my father did very little good in his life, it is never easy to summon to mind fond memories of him. But he never failed to love me. That much I felt. He might not have known how to love me, but he did.

karma

I am single. 

Hard, cold fact. I know it ain't easy nor that hard to contemplate. Enigma as others say but others get it as a repellent. Is there such a thing? Relationship-repellent? I am bugged, confused and mandated. Insects has pestecides but do humans have as well? Beats me!

Couples say you are a threat, other singles says it's a blessing but mean girls says karma with a capital K.

I guess who wouldn't.

Take the certain case of a couple, they are blessed, yes. But don't think they are stable, oh no, no, no. Don't dare say that. Stability on one's relationship is always temperamental, it has its up's and down's, tricks and lo's straight or gay alike. No such pretensions, either they are making it or breaking it. Sucks big time really but that's reality.

Blessing yes, you get to do stuff on your own, no hang-ups to falter to, no restrictions to think of, no headaches and heartaches to ponder of the things you want to do. In short, no repercussions to answer to. Damn right you are, single as it is! 

Happy.

Period.

Karma? This is what am pointing at. Do you believe what comes around goes around? Right now, I am yes. I have been that bitch you can think of, having two main course over dinner, neglecting every plea a partner requests for, criticizing every move your behalf makes, name it, been there done that. As far as I can tally, the last verbiage that I uttered to a dearest was “ You are such a tiring company to be with” which relatively happened on a dinner date, enjoying a sumptous and expensive meal in a 5-star hotel. Asshole right? Well that's me. Bitchier than ever. Meaner than the last and egotistical in nature in the least.

But am I getting my meds rights now?

Is it payback time? Has my time came to be judged upon? Maybe it has. Maybe it will. Or not even. I don't really know. Should I be ready for that? Or let things pass by as they would? Well, tricky as I am in a situation I am into, guess perhaps?

Damn these bad vibes are! 


Shoo! Shoo! Get the heck away from me. Don't want you near, don't want you never. As in ever.