He ran!
Am I that hideous? Why did he have to do that? Is running away the best medicine?
I really don't know? I don't wanna think. It hurts me so bad, knowing that he was there and running afterwards? What better explanation there is than he is somewhat afraid of me. What in the world did I do? I gave him all the best I can be, took care of what he has and showed that I cared. Isn't that enough? Maybe it's not for him. Did I scare him off? I blame myself for being so open. I shouldn't have let my heart be on my sleeves. Now look at me, I am a slaughtered hard headed ass thinking what would be. See the beauty and its madness rolled into one big agony.
What would be?
Should I have been reserved? A one time fuck that took me over. Cliché as it is, its not what I have in mind. I cared. Got hurt and supposedly got back up but why is it hard to do. Been here, done it and let go but why is this feeling so captured in my heart I just can't let go? Am I reaching for heaven or just a dream I longed for in my heart? Did I imagine it too hard? Or did I ask the wrong set of questions?
Don't go!
Please don't go! This is the second time I cried for a miserable soul. First wheh he missed his promise, it took me down a week or so. And now again and again, he still lingers in my mind, do I need to beg? Is talking a very hard thing to do nowadays? Why is my world crumbling down? Do I deserve this? I guess I do? But this hard and excruciating? What have I done to deserve this?
Damn! All questions not even an answer? Do I need to give up?
I know I will be alright. But up until when? I'm so tired, am just not sure how much do I need to stress the tiredness I have in every blog that I post. I AM TIRED! Break-up after break-up, mending broken pieces after each shattering, scarred, stressed and torn in half as always. How will I stress the tiredness I have in a lifetime? A gazillion?
