Tatay

this is a preeminence of my kin, Donna, to our father written as a eulogy on his birthday. Originally posted on Facebook



I guess you could say that my father was, for all intents and purposes, the King of Mistakes and Shortcomings. I never knew where he was the day I was born, was he beside my mother, was he outside smoking stick after sticks of month-old cigarettes found by accident inside one pocket of a trouser carelessly put on in the midst of frantic haste for my fast approaching arrival into the world. Or was he elsewhere, at work, in the arms of a different woman, at a friend's house completely wasted having after having consumed a proud ten bottles of rhum. He was mean, and violent, and warm, and sweet, and mysterious, and funny and solemn, and scary and quiet. Very quiet. He never said much. Except when he was drunk, which was most of the time. He talked, sometimes barked but mostly, he yelled at my brother, at me, at my mother, at the neighbors, at life. But no, he never said much.


He's dead now. From a combination of illnesses that didn't compliment each other, one being a complication of the other, the other being the cause of another. I read that piece of paper, that shabby, cheap sheet of paper that said what he died of from, that my mother broke her heart for another hundredth time when another woman also tried to get his death certificate. It was a jargon, the diagnosis, words that may sound so fatal and serious to ignorant ears, such as my mother's and my brother's. It shamed me, even as I was explaining to them that that man died from an otherwise preventable illnesses had he known what to do, had he not abandoned a family that would have accompanied him to monthly check-ups, had his daughter not hated him and stopped acknowledging his existence, when this daughter was a nurse.


True, my father did very little good in his life, it is never easy to summon to mind fond memories of him. But he never failed to love me. That much I felt. He might not have known how to love me, but he did.

karma

I am single. 

Hard, cold fact. I know it ain't easy nor that hard to contemplate. Enigma as others say but others get it as a repellent. Is there such a thing? Relationship-repellent? I am bugged, confused and mandated. Insects has pestecides but do humans have as well? Beats me!

Couples say you are a threat, other singles says it's a blessing but mean girls says karma with a capital K.

I guess who wouldn't.

Take the certain case of a couple, they are blessed, yes. But don't think they are stable, oh no, no, no. Don't dare say that. Stability on one's relationship is always temperamental, it has its up's and down's, tricks and lo's straight or gay alike. No such pretensions, either they are making it or breaking it. Sucks big time really but that's reality.

Blessing yes, you get to do stuff on your own, no hang-ups to falter to, no restrictions to think of, no headaches and heartaches to ponder of the things you want to do. In short, no repercussions to answer to. Damn right you are, single as it is! 

Happy.

Period.

Karma? This is what am pointing at. Do you believe what comes around goes around? Right now, I am yes. I have been that bitch you can think of, having two main course over dinner, neglecting every plea a partner requests for, criticizing every move your behalf makes, name it, been there done that. As far as I can tally, the last verbiage that I uttered to a dearest was “ You are such a tiring company to be with” which relatively happened on a dinner date, enjoying a sumptous and expensive meal in a 5-star hotel. Asshole right? Well that's me. Bitchier than ever. Meaner than the last and egotistical in nature in the least.

But am I getting my meds rights now?

Is it payback time? Has my time came to be judged upon? Maybe it has. Maybe it will. Or not even. I don't really know. Should I be ready for that? Or let things pass by as they would? Well, tricky as I am in a situation I am into, guess perhaps?

Damn these bad vibes are! 


Shoo! Shoo! Get the heck away from me. Don't want you near, don't want you never. As in ever.

I can do magic!

We teased, splashed and accessorized! Yep with all that jazz! Mind you it wasn't easy! Yes, it was a struggle and painful but nonetheless what matters is how pretty sight she became after. I was the one who dolled her up.









I love colors. From clothes to accessories to make up. I am a queer for crying out loud. It runs through my veins and can detect an eye-sore from an eye-candy.

 I am frustrated fashion designer.....

The freakier the better

I do my own make up as well.....

every night is an opening night.....

may it be just a regular day

or even a gala such as this....

well that was oh-so 4 years ago.... a done deal for me already!

Avatar: The Legend of Aang

 Finally, I hit the remote button STOP and snoozed. After 72 long hours of excitement and fun. The saga ended with the evil Fire Lord Ozai stripped down of his fire bending powers and Aang successfully saving the entire four nations from extinction.

The four nations: the Water Tribes( (tai chi chuan), the Earth Kingdom(Hung Ga kung fu), the Air Nomads( (baguazhang), and the Fire Nation(Northern Shaolin kung fu) were also the elements that the new Avatar needs to learn in order for him to reach the avatar state needed to defeat the Fire Lord.

Divided into 3 books: Water, Earth and Fire elaborated how Aang mastered the four elements, keeping the friendship, fighting for the greater good and learning the ways of the people. 

Katara, a waterbender girl who also became Aang's shifu for waterbending. Sokka, Katara's brother who mastered the ways of the sword and boomerang. Toph, the blind Earthbending master who taught Aang of the techniques and styles of the Earth tribe traveled the world together in search of the knowledge and to archetype the four elements. Antagonists, Zuko and Azula, Fire Lord Ozai's children both firebending prodigy, were the ones who hunted the Avatar. 

The whole series was exhilarating, it may just be an anime but the lesson and teachings of the Asian-influenced society were so core-redeeming. The movements were epic and the cast was amazing. And the detours? You will love them all, hilarious, funny and eye-opener! But what I loved most was how different Aang's viewpoint was. It never makes sense at first but if you run over the thought, over and over? It creates a clangor! 

CTM - that is what you need!

Sun and stress plus the pollution will get you down. These are the most common enemies of your face and not only it damages it also has after-effects comes old age.

I can never reiterate more on moisturizing your countenance. Cosmo taught me that 6 years ago. I am now 28 and my regimen has not changed, I am no Venus Raj nor Aphrodite but I can go out without foundation or even a makeup on, just a touch of lip gloss and am all set.

Cleanse, Tone and Moisturize- that's the basic, and for the harsh elements of the sun? Sunscreen.

Cleansing - find a good cleanser, that's it! Doesn't have to be a high-end product, you can check Mercury Drug or Watson's for a match with your skin type. According to dermatologists, avoid bar soaps as they will dry out your skin and should only touch your skin from neck down. You have an option to go for a creamy cleanser if you have a dry skin and a clear cleanser if you have an oily visage. Best not to wash your face often as they tend to wash away natural chemicals, a splash of warm water in the morning is all you need to remove excess oils, just that! Never over cleanse your face and watch out for hot or cold water as they will break capillaries.

Tone - At least once a week, exfoliate. Microdermabrasion, chemical peels and Retinoids are the most common; safe, effective and affordable. You can use a gentle scrub with tiny grains as big grains tend to tear the skin and cause damage. Sometimes a monthly chemical peel gets too pricey but a good one-hour diamond peel will let you have a skin so soft and supple just like baby's butt. And with that you may opt for retinoids, as it removes top layer of dead skin cells and builds up collagen.

 Moisturize - no matter what skin type you have, this is a must to seal in moisture into your skin. Careful not to overdo it as they may clog your pores and develop acne.

Nowadays, as the suns UV rays gets too harmful, application of sunscreen should be a part of your regimen as well, tropical people as we are, should maintain the use as we are always in bright light and exposed most of the day. Mexoryl and Helioplex are the most vital chemicals that helps block those aggravating rays. And if you are in a mood to splurge its best to have a daytime and a nighttime sunscreen, that's me being obsessive-compulsive and being extra careful.

Us gays are literally vain from top to toe. From the shampoo to lather our scalp, to the undies we wear, or to the foundation we apply and even to the spritzer for our twinkle toes. Vain, Vain, definitely and remarkably vain! Hailed by many yet detracted by peers as well. Who cares, as long as you take care of yourself plus you're happy. 
That's it! Life's about it!