Even just the sight of his name will bring you untune and tears. Memories will dawdle by like a movie trailer. An esoteric sigh and a boxful of tissue will be the only comfort that you will have. Your heart will start to blame your mind and the mind will do the same. All thoughts deep-seated from the core will emerge and by the time you notice it, teardrops gently falls on your cheeks and another deep sigh will have you bristle into a different kind of laugh, sour, bitter and hurt!
You close your eyes and shoo the thoughts away but they just get so vivid and true-like that you can't push it away no more. You start to think of all happy endings but the bad and sad ones clouds them all away. Then you stare at nowhere hoping for recluse and then reality scours you and nudges you that it's just a dream. Nothing more and nothing less.
I hope this is just a phase that your heart and mind would think of him. Etched in memory and engraved in dreams, how will it be so easy when what you had divvy up were as fresh as you can grasp them right there and then. Fuck all the moments such as this. Wish you never had them all in all. They grip. They torture. They molest! They excruciate!
Inner thoughts.
