8.22.2010

why, oh! why?


Sex and the City: The Complete Second SeasonHere I go again slurred and so detested, does it always have to pattern? Previously I have pacified a thought that it never would happen as Carrie Bradshaw experienced on a relationship she’s been with Big, Do you really have to fall into some iconic resolution of what should be guided on a person to love with? Pretty lame if you’ll tell me BUT my guess caught up to me and now I have realized it does pattern and definitely after three consecutive feeling-blurt, there really is a pattern. 
Plenty of thoughts are rummaging me down, don’t really know where to start, first am bugged if and only if there should be a pattern in which there is, could we fight it over? I mean get over it? The idealization tends you to iconize a person and reflect it with the one you’re supposed to like in the present and accordingly the one in the future too. Yet past-rewinding all that has happened am I the one to be blamed for? Or the person that comes after the first one is the fugitive? Intuitively is that built on your psyche to typecast?
Am all bugged and really don’t know how to apprehend the comprehension of what really life is offering me, am I to accept the fact that there is no future for me when tune goes to the matters of the heart, fact: I have a career-based stability, am all geared to face all consequences that comes my way and bring me anywhere definitely I’ll strike everywhere yet why a simple/single theme such as falling in love and grabbing a relationship am all tied and winded up and as always a failure. Should I just give up looking for one? Coz it’s like hurting yourself one way or the other, others say at least you have tried and experienced what it’s like than to never have felt it at all, sure true thing but coming out tarnished, hurt and blemished after that relationship, not mention the petty fights and arguments along the way, resoluble, yes! But still marks a denture to oneself, if I may ask isn’t it a torture?

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