Am I just confusing myself with the illusion of being happy? It has been years, and I have not fully recuperated of the feelings I’ve had before, am I obstructing myself to much? Weighing things, complicated as it is yet I really have to stand to a point. But which would compliment us better? We’ve stayed as friends as long as college days were frequent some say that elevation of such relationship into greater heights, some soar but at times flunks deeply underground.
Before I never believed that the heart and mind contradicted to the extent of losing your grip but lately, with the scenario I’ve been to? Really did make a snare on my knuckles. My psyche being the one who managed all the stirring emotions since the break-up, controlled all faulty actions and refurbished the necessary mending and moving on apprehended. In actuality is aching, why? One single reason, the heart that feels every beat and the one that surges all emotions is still very much entwined with the thought of the love that once was at full bloom.
Creepy huh, but for me although it was the biggest lie I’ve ever interluded with, it was also the happiest, most enticing memories I’ve had since time in memoriam. You know the feeling of being full, contented and just happy was there, as songs rhyme it, all you need is Love, duh! Illusions? Yeah it was but sure is one of the loveliest by far! Whew! Too much to handle for a crippled heart that has been too much of sadness the world can offer!
I want to scream but I just can’t! I am still in love but there are a lot of thoughts in swirl running thru different verses of what-will-happen and lots of if-only keeps on racing. What will I do, whom will I follow……aaaaaaarrrrhhhhgggg! If only there are simple ways of falling in love, but I guess they never come in full package, one way or the other has its surges, deviants that not anybody can ever reach through. Well some of us conforms, but does everybody?
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